Laura is super awesome and she came back to school to get her undergrad and her masters when she was, like, 40. She likes guns, motorcycles, and being amazing.
Laura,
Your
ability to be the team mom is comparable to MTV’s teen moms.
Your
beauty defies your age like an ill mannered step child.
Your
bad-assness is more hardcore than Obama with a pinky ring and a neck tattoo.
Your
fixation with guns is similar to Gabby Giffords. She just can’t stop talking
about them.
Your magic purse of goodies is only
slightly more awesome than your other magic purse of goodies.
Your return to and excellence in
academia is more remarkable than an uninfected Prince Albert.
Your capacity to love is only
outmatched by a hoarder’s capacity to love flattened cats and “treasures.”
Your husband is more supportive
than the Pope for all his priests with a “younger” taste.
You’re loved. Like teenagers love
texting and driving so much, they will drive to the death for those messages.
Like Timothy McVeigh loved the FBI so much, he set fireworks off in their
honor. Like BP loved the Gulf so much that it penetrated that Gulf and then lubed it up. You’re loved. And your love will continue to stretch like
the marks on an underprivileged obese child with a “thyroid problem.
Hearts,
Brad
What can we learn from these letters? That I'm a sick person for creating such similes? Nope. More like... fuck it. I couldn't even type that out. I'm seriously messed up.
These are just incredible.
ReplyDelete